Signs
being on a drip and in hypotensive shock really does put things in perspective. the next time i see a patient and put a plug in, i will actually know how it feels. and i won't just simply think what a whiner when the patient says that he's dizzy from vertigo even after all the meds we pump in him. it really takes one to know one. trust me, beta histine is a life saver when it comes to dizziness. i don't know how, but it is. and postural hypotension and syncope is genuinely scary even for a HO who has seen tonnes of it and knows the treatment for it. super thankful to jonathan and victor and my sips who have been covering my ass while i am at home sippering and whining and shitting and puking my life away.
i haven't been the nicest person for the past month in neurology in my attempt to get things done. haven't always been the nicest to the nurses or to fellow doctors. i still haven't figured out the balance yet. what do you do when things should be done and you have already been nice one too many times? is it alright to then tell people off for not doing their job? i don't think that my previous way was right either, to just simply accept it and smile it off?
anw, here's a nice song that i have been listening to. i don't know if they meant it to be christian and i have been googling it but haven't gotten any answers, but i guess it's solace for anyone even if you aren't christian and don't really like the use of the word lord. housemanship can be really trying and it would be a whole lot worse if i didn't have all of you (including my super duper nice MOs who actually listen to me whine about doing admin and not admonish me about it and my cons who actually perk up and give me a pat on the back when i say that i might give int med a chance).
Show me what I am looking for by Carolina Liar
Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for
CHORUS
Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord
Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for
CHORUS
Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
CHORUS
Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Just save me from being confused
Wait, I'm wrong
I can't do better than this
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord